Blame Yo Mama

When the blame game begins on why so many men aren’t up to par, fingers are often pointed in every direction. Everyone from the school system to “the man” is given a portion of the blame. The finger I have become more aware of and have to agree is necessary finger pointing is at the mothers of these men.

Many mothers are trying to raise men. Did you get that?

They are trying to keep a finger pinpointed into every aspect of their grown son’s lives and honestly a man doesn’t need any woman to raise him; now a boy on the other hand….

Mothers are also helping (and I use that word for lack of a better one) their sons to make poor life choices. They encourage their sons to remain unmarried, even if he has multiple kids with a woman, has lived with her multiple years and has no plans of leaving her. In many cases his mother will tell him that he is too young to get married, he has a lot of life yet to live and that marriage should not be a hasty decision. Yet, this same mother had no appeals to her son having child after child with this woman without being married. This same mother had no problem with him living under the same roof with this woman for years and share financial responsibility to with her. But when it comes down to marrying her, he is too young and needs to wait. (regardless of his age he is too young and not ready for such a commitment) Even when he makes the decision to marry, his mother is in disagreement, she doesn’t understand why he feels the need to marry this or any woman….

Whatever happened to mothers encouraging their sons to live right? To do right and it will follow you?

Too many mothers are allowing pitifulness to materialize in their sons at an early age and by the time they are teenage boys they are pure triflin’. They want something for nothing and they really don’t have any set plans for their life outside of their mama’s house. They know what they would like to do, but their mother is always there to encourage them that they have plenty of time to think about the future. She is there to pat him on the back and make sure that he knows that he doesn’t have to get a job as a teenager; he needs to concentrate on his studies. No he doesn’t need to take out the trash; he is tired from all of his school work. She makes sure he is comfortable and has nice new kicks because he has to look nice going to school. She washes his clothes, irons them and sometimes she lets him run off at the mouth to her because she understands that school is stressful and instead of getting in trouble at school she would prefer him let off steam at home.

As this boy grows older he has become accustomed to doing…well to doing nothing. He doesn’t have to work and if he does the money is used solely on staying fly. His mother is just happy to see her son happy and her son is happy when he stays fly. 

As this boy reaches what should be his manhood, he is lost. Unfortunately he doesn’t know that he is lost.  And guess who is 91.9999 percent to blame for his misguidance, his mommy…

Even in situations where men have had their fathers present in their life (which we know is sadly a decreasing number) I still see way too many mothers who have just lost all consciousness of morality when it comes to their dear sons. They babied them as babies, they babied them as boys and they baby them as boy men.

A mother’s love is indeed one of the greatest loves of all, but love should not make a mother incoherent to teaching a child right from wrong. Love should be one of the greatest reasons she loves him but raises him as a mother and not a friend. Her parental duties should shelter and comfort him as a child, but manage his life as a teenager and let him fly alone as an adult.