Category Archives: About Men

Personal Reflection: Man-child

Last night when I sat down to write in my daily thoughts journal (which I have incorporated into my Happy Planner) I began to think about what 2018 means to me as a mother.

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This year is a big one for me, my oldest child will be graduating from high school in May. I really don’t know how to feel about that. I thought that I would be excited and ready to shout “One down, three to go!” but instead it has made me rather sad. I really don’t know how to feel about having an adult child. Even though I really don’t consider an eighteen year old an adult, he is now becoming a man and I don’t really know what to expect having a man-child…see that doesn’t even sound right to me. I don’t feel right saying it or even typing it.

But regardless of how prepared I am, he has turned eighteen, will be graduating high school soon and as proud as I am of him I just don’t feel excited. All these years I just knew that when we arrived at this point I would be crying tears of joy, ready to ship my man-child off to college but that’s not what’s happening. Instead I am feeling the need to cry, but not in a good way.

Then there’s the fact that my life is not where I planned for it to be. I have so many emotions when it comes to what I planned for my life and what has actually taken place. Aside from the disappointment in myself for not meeting personal goals that I set, I also feel as if I am a huge disappointment to my children because the life I desired for them to have, I haven’t been able to give to them. Now I have one ready to go off to college so my chances of show and prove to him are now only broken promises.

I do have younger children at home, yet there is always this sinking feeling that I now have a child who is entering adulthood that I didn’t have the opportunity to give the world to. But for many years of his childhood I was barely keeping my head above water. I was learning as I lived and each day was a new lesson. But the time went by so swiftly that now I feel as if it is too late to do all of those things that I promised myself I’d do for him. These weren’t even promises that I made to him, these were promises that I made within myself, and sadly about half of them have gone unfulfilled.

I think I am going to take some time to reflect on my oldest child…

I think maybe that will help me to process the fact that he has grown up and is no longer my baby boy but is now my man-child

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Who’s Your Daddy? Mandatory Paternity Testing

I’ve changed my mind…

A while back I may, or may not have discussed with my readers my thoughts on mandatory paternity/DNA testing for newborn babies and their alleged fathers. As I recall I had a firm stance on why it was intrusive and violated the rights of both the mother and the child. (I was pretty sure I blogged about this but maybe not…)  But after giving it much thought and having a discussion with a family member about it, I have changed my mind, mandatory DNA testing is a good thing, it should be instituted in all states and this should happen ASAP.

…why such a huge turnaround in my stance on this issue?

Well one major factor was the extremely large amount of fathers who months or even years after the birth of a child find out that they are not actually the father of the child and that this was no mistake, oh no they were bamboozled. I know some of you may disagree with me on what I am about to say but any woman, and I do mean any woman who gets pregnant knows if there is a possibility that there may be more than one possible candidate as the child’s father. Say what you will, believe what you want but she knows and it is her duty to be truthful to the men that she could possibly be pregnant by. She is obligated…however too many times women don’t feel obligated to notify potential fathers that there may be other potential fathers and they allow themselves the authority and the choosing power of only notifying their “choice father” of the pregnancy. This is where a huge problem arises because just because he is the woman’s choice doesn’t mean he is the father. Women should do the right thing. Don’t let a man support you during pregnancy, plan for a child, sign a birth certificate and love and bond with a child that might not be his. If there is more than one potential father, a woman should do the right thing from the moment she finds out she is pregnant and that is inform any and all possible fathers of the pregnancy.

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