Category Archives: About Women

It Takes a Village

villageWhile talking to a group of working moms this week I realized that my life is not as abnormal as I thought it was. The giggles, the moments where your heart skips a beat coupled with the frustration, the tears, the feelings of despair….. it’s perfectly normal. I’m not alone in experiencing that mix of emotions.  Working mothers are indeed superheroes. Not to discredit stay at home moms because they have special powers that I can’t even begin to understand but being that I am a working mother and have been now for almost eighteen years I have to give us working moms kudos because we work HARD and even with all of our hard work shit hits the fan for us A LOT.

Then I began to think about how good it is to be able to talk to other mothers without judgment, ridicule  or being made fun of. It was refreshing to be able to speak my truth about how hard it is to raise children, work and still try to keep my composure. And then to add-on the component of being someone’s wife or significant other…almost every day is a struggle. Honestly most days feel like a struggle from the moment my alarm clock goes off till my eyelids shut at night; the struggle is real.

After talking with other working moms about the frustrations of our daily lives I exhaled. It is not often that I am able to express with others how frustrated I get because of my life as a wife and mother. Generally I don’t talk to people about how hard it is to work everyday and then come home only to work some more. How depressed I get because this is not where I imagined my 36-year-old self…doing laundry, punching the clock, potty training children and still trying to be a sexy homie-lover-friend to my husband. I generally keep quiet about how stressed I am, only speaking my pain to my husband.

Talking with these ladies confirmed my belief that moms need support systems consisting of families, friends, teachers, neighbors etc. to maintain healthy lives.  They say it takes a village to raise a child/ren but it also takes that same village to support the entire family by way of love, concern and lending a helping hand. As mothers we take on the brunt of the family. We are the mommies, nurses, teachers, psychiatrist, friends….we are the EVERYTHING in most families whether we like it or not.

All healthy support is needed. Lets show love to each and lend each other a helping hand. Whether that helping hand be a listening ear, an offer to carpool or babysit, a coffee when she needs it or just a quck “You’ve Got This” of encouragement…believe me its needed and appreciated.

Advertisements

Superwoman, the myth

Superwoman…The Myth

superwoman
Artwork by Marcus Williams https://marcusthevisual.deviantart.com/

Me: I’m not your Superwoman….

Husband & Kids : Laughter, sure you’re not…snickers and gives each other a wink

According to my family, even though they never say it, I’m Superwoman. I can do all things, even those that seem impossible. I can operate a household even when I’m sick, I can fix broken toys and small appliances, I can drive from one side of town to the other at lighting speed while still doing the speed limit AND I can locate any missing item. And to top it all off  I can do the majority of those things without even consuming a morsel of food because Superwoman doesn’t have to eat to get shit done!

I don’t blame the children for their belief in this myth…but my husband on the other hand is an adult and knows better. Or does he? I have taken the time to examine why they expect so much of me and I have come to the conclusion that 85% of the blame can be placed on me. If a woman can birth a baby and two days later be up fixing breakfast by 9 a.m. then shortly after folding clothes and rocking a baby carrier with her foot at the same time, maybe I too would think that she is SuperWoman. If a woman can do a days worth of chores, then head to Walmart, Home Depot and to visit family with three children in tow, then come home to fix dinner and start the nightly routine without consuming even one glass of wine or other hard drug I too would probably feel that she has super powers and can do ALL things imaginable.

The thing is I don’t have a cape or magic powers. 90% of the time I am either tired or heading into idgaf mode. I mean seriously, shit gets done but by the end of it my nerves are shot and I have wine on chill and a curse word ready to slip from my lips.

I am not a Superwoman!

With the conclusion that I have brought so much of this on myself, my question now is how do I undo this. How do I take the cape off at least sometime to just be Mona? How do I still get shit done without feeling like Mrs. Celie by the end of the week? How do I balance being the myth of Superwoman without actually having to be her?