Once upon a time I convinced myself that one day I’d be a famous author, writing books so awesome that my readers couldn’t put them down. They’d be glued to my work, unable to break away from its trance. I’d be doing what I loved to do for a living WRITING.
Once upon another time I convinced myself that writing was not my thing and that I really didn’t like to write anymore, because basically writing just wasn’t my thing. I wasn’t good at it.
I’m writing a book that I may never finish because I don’t have the faith in myself that I can complete it nor the discipline to get it done.
After admitting that to myself I’m kind of left wondering where do I go from here. How do I learn to motivate myself to the point that I feel comfortable enough in my own abilities to say this will not be another unfinished project? How do I learn or where do I get the discipline to push myself instead of making excuses or selling myself the concept that maybe I’m just not good at this writing thing anymore?
I have struggled with this for years. I can easily say that I have had about six book ideas that I’ve started writing on and never completed. Where they all good, yes I’d like to think so, why didn’t I finish any of them then? That is the question that plays like an ongoing tune in the back of my head almost daily. The fact that I have never finished a manuscript depresses me. It sparks even more doubt of my writing abilities and at this point almost has me convinced that I don’t even like writing anymore…almost
I say almost because there are always times where I feel that I must write something or I may lose my mind. Does that mean I should write a book, probably not. Does it mean that I should be writing at least something, probably so.
But the thing is that book ideas keep coming into my head. I mean full stories that I just cannot overlook. So I sit down and begin to write. It amazes me because I have no control over it. The words, the storyline, the characters and even the plot twist just flow through me naturally. Sometimes I sit down to write and when I stop to take a breather 2000 words are staring up at me from the computer screen. I sit there like wow, who gives me these stories.
Things go well for a while and before I know it this story is added to pile of five others that are on a jump drive, in my emails and saved on my laptop, yet incomplete.
I think I mentioned earlier how much it depresses me that I just can’t follow through on any of these book ideas but in case I didn’t, it realllllly depresses me that as much as I want to finish at least one of my books I just can’t seem to do so. I can get to a midway point and then suddenly the words don’t come to me anymore. I try to force them, but the slate is blank. Depression sets in and six months later I haven’t written a word.
So I began to think that since every time I start writing a book I can only get halfway through it, maybe I should write short stories. But then there’s the issue that I’m not really a fan of short stories. Would I be successful at writing short stories when I don’t even care to read them? Shouldn’t a writer write what they love?
So here I am, wanting to be a famous author one day, sitting in my huge home office overlooking the hustle and bustle of the city (not the country because I am not a country gal) thinking about how blessed I am to be working doing what I love best which is writing. I’d spin around in my comfortable office chair and admire the built-in bookshelves filled with books, books and more books. I’d smile because I loved my life.
But how can that happen when I can’t even complete ONE book?
Maybe I need an action plan. I’ve tried to keep myself writing and fight off writers block by committing myself to nightly writing prompts and I must admit that in my opinion I am coming up with some great writing from those. I’ve also started a bullet journal for my most recent writing project that includes word count log, character and setting layouts and an index. I’ve only been working with those two action items for less than a month, so hopefully those will assist me with getting my writer juices flowing and allow me to commit to finishing my book.
Any ideas on how to finish writing a novel?
Any writers out there ever been faced with this dilemma? If so how did you push through and get it done?