Category Archives: Personal Reflections

Reading is Fundamental

keep-calm-she-s-back-4 I stopped reading.

I don’t know exactly when or exactly why but I stopped reading and it almost destroyed my life.

I went from an avid reader working on what was to be a best-selling novel, to a book, blog, magazine skimmer who wasn’t motivated to write anything more than a reminder on a sticky note. I didn’t read, nor did I write and you know what one very famous author had to say about wanna be writers who don’t read.

If you don’t have time to read, you don’t have the time (or the tools) to write. Simple as that.
― Stephen King

I slowly watched myself become a birdbrain. My vocabulary dwindled, my brain cells went from a fast cha-cha to a raunchy slow grind. I became a non reading, non writing, potty mouth procrastinator. Without books my vocabulary got reeeaaal ratchet. I seriously fell off.

Then I began to examine just how many aspects of my life were  affected by not reading. A simple conversation with a coworker opened my eyes to just how horrible my vocabulary had gotten.The simple sentence i spoke that day was full of broken English and double negatives. I went back to my desk and thought to myself Damn I need to read a book.

“Reading is to the mind what exercise is to the body.”
― Richard Steele

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One Do Over

Camaflouge I have wasted many an hour of my life in a state of regret. So many times I have beat myself up over how things should have turned out. Many tears I have shed over my woulda, shoulda, couldas. Minutes of my life that I can never get back have been lost in a state of regret. Those wasted minutes have added up to hours which have turned into days of my life that have been wasted on what ifs…

What if I hadn’t made so many mistakes in my 20’s? What if I had cared more about my credit when I was younger? What if I had known my worth before I gave so much of myself away to people who weren’t even worth my time? What if I hadn’t been so reckless in certain situations…where would I be?

What if I were allowed one do over?

That question stumps me. My mistakes, as painful and costly as they may have been have also been my tools for maturity and growth. The tears, they strengthened me. The heartache, it toughened me…then softened me just enough to Love when the time was right. And even though some of my mistakes had to be repeated before I got the message, where would I be if I hadn’t made that mistake, sometimes twice?

After contemplating the thought of one do over, I realized that there is one thing about my life that I wish I could do over and it has nothing to do with anyone else but me. It doesn’t include any of the people who hurt me nor the ones that lied on me, discredited me, abused me or misused me. My do over would involve my heart, my mind and my own inner voice.

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