Trying Something New – Veering From Your Preference Checklist


The majority of us have preferences when it comes to the opposite sex. When we meet a perspective mate, we mentally go over our preference checklist and we immediately know from a physical standpoint if the person meets the criteria or if they fall short of what we prefer. Sometimes the journey to finding that special someone is enjoyable and swift, and other times it is painful and at times hilarious…well hilarious after you stop seeing them!  

Some people will say that looks aren’t everything and that the beauty we should care about comes from within, but I be damned if looks don’t play a huge part in first impressions and even in deciding if the person is worth dating.

However sometimes we get to the end of our rope and the dating scene has us exhausted by its lack of what we consider qualified mates. It gets to the point where we decide to go out of your comfort zone and “try something new.

From a personal standpoint I say that the majority of the time “trying something new” doesn’t give you the end result of happiness that you pursue and generally lands you in Disappointmentville.

One physical characteristic of a man that can immediately make me shoot him down is his height. I have never been attracted to men that are shorter than I am so I have always steered clear of short men, or shorties as I call them. When I say short, I mean shorter than I am.  I am 5’5, maybe 5’5 and a ½ on a good day, so any man shorter than 5’6ish can keep it moving because I have a son almost that height. I just cannot imagine myself dating a man that requires me to wear flats at all times, just to not exceed his height. This is one of my personal preferences, and for the most part I have kept it high on the priority list along with the requirements of having all of their teeth and all limbs.

But then there was the time I decided to “try something new”

One day while I was out shopping I met this guy who was short and when I say short, I mean needing a step stool to reach the medicine cabinet short. I mean dangly legs from the bar stool short, I mean could easily sleep in a toddler bed short….

The man was annoyingly short but he was really nice. He had two jobs, his own home (buying not renting) he had a daughter that was of age and one of my most important qualities in a man, he could talk shit with me all day. I love a guy that can make me laugh, and from the moment we met the jokes began.  He was a winner, except the fact that he was as short as my then 8yr old son. BUT I tried to overlook that since I was “trying something new”.  He asked me out to lunch and I accepted. The guy picks me up for lunch and I immediately notice that this man looks like a child driving. He was driving a Chevy Tahoe I am almost 99% sure that he had some kind of doohickey that helped him reach the gas and brake pedals. A person of his height shouldn’t have even been allowed to buy that much truck. To make things even worse when we parked at the restaurant he had to hop from the truck; I mean literally scoot to the end of the seat and give himself a little thrust out of the driver’s seat.  I was done. I knew from that moment that this would not work out. We hadn’t even eaten lunch yet but I knew that his being short would prohibit me from dating this man.

Trying something new has never seemed to work for me. Either I expect the best and get the worst or I expect the worst and get the worst. Either way it goes instances like that make me hold tight to my preference check list.

But what about the times you think that the person you met was one thing and by the second date you are like what in the world? This person is not what I expected. How did I miss “all of this”? He/she is definitely NOT my type, how did I even agree to go out with this person?

Or what about the times when you meet someone for the first time and you are like DAMN he/she is all that. You love how they look physically, but as soon as you start a conversation with them you feel disappointed. You wish their personality and their conversation were as good as their looks!

Do we all agree that we have preferences when it comes to who we will date or even allow ourselves to get to know? What are some of your preferences and what are some immediate physical no-no’s for you?

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7 thoughts on “Trying Something New – Veering From Your Preference Checklist”

  1. Good piece! I stopped having my preferences list because I found out that I was missing out on some great people simply because of my restrictive preferences list. Now, I have some things that I very much love in mind, but I don’t let those things become requirements. As I’ve grown older, I’ve learned to become more flexible–while never compromising my values, principles, and who I am. I very much enjoyed reading this piece.

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  2. Know all too well about those “preference lists”. I still have mine… tucked away somewhere. And like you said looks “shouldn’t” be all that important but hey —- what other catalyst is there when meeting a complete stranger. something has to attract your “eye” before their mesmerizing conversation sweeps you off your feet… ha!

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  3. When I was in High School I had an “eye” for only light-skinned girls. They had to be a certain body type, and they had to be as smart as me. Nowadays, a woman doesn’t have to be light-skinned or skinny as Rhianna. They just have to be smart, have some sort of value system and be aware that there’s a being more powerful than humans (and not Martians either). An interest in the inner workings of music is a huge plus.

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  4. Great piece! Preferences can be tricky because you can quickly find yourself i a box and miss out on a great opportunity. On the other hand, you have to be real with yourself.

    Even though I’m a short girl, I have a height thing too. I know that I’m not going to stay long term with a shorty. I’m just being real.

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  5. Every girl or woman has a particular preference when it comes to what she wants out of the opposite sex. Everybody tells me that since I am a dark skinned female, I would look good with a light skinned man on my arm. But for me, I’m more attracted to dark skinned men more for some reason. I don’t know what it is. I’ve only come across a few light skinned men that I was attracted to, and some of them are actresses that appear on television. But I just want somebody who is handsome, educated, knows what he wants out of life, knows how to treat and love a female, knows how to please me in the bedroom, etc. I may sound picky, but there is absolutely nothing wrong with a girl setting standards for herself is it?

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