Manwhore


My ex doesnt know what a manwhore is…..

manwA few weeks ago we were sitting around talking, and as usual the talking turned into a  discussion aka an argument. And as usual we began arguing about the petty things that happened during our 5 year relationship and as usual he said something stupid that made me say thank God I’m no longer with you.

The stupid thing he said this time was in response to me saying that I never felt catered to in our relationship. Before he said the utterly stupid thing, he proclaimed that he did cater to me the best he knew how, and that when we first met he was young, so there was a lot he didn’t know at first. Then he said

Plus I was a manwhore when we first met, so the first few months shouldn’t even count

||blank stare||

My jaw dropped,  my eyes bucked and rolled hard enough to get stuck at the top of my eyelid. “You were a what?”

Of course he was stupid enough to repeat it.

I was a manwhore. I am going to be honest about it

I couldn’t believe that not only had I not known this, but he was stupid enough to admit that he had been a manwhore. OMG I had dated a manwhore.

That of course is when the big(ger) argument started. Now I had a reason to bring up every mistake he had made since I met him. Now I could call him every name I had said in anger over the years and have a valid reason for doing so. Now I could blame our break-up on something besides his immaturity and pettiness. Now I knew why things didn’t work. I had attempted to turn a manwhore into a husband. Had I known this tad bit of information going into the relationship there wouldn’t have been a relationship!

After saying quite a few rude things to him, some that were completely unrelated to this argument but were necessary due to his manwhore revelation, I decided that now I would play the little game I was so good at…well at least with him. It was called make up some shit and get him to tell you details he had no intention of giving. This game had worked on him numerous times over the years. I would pretend to know some information and go on and on and on until he gave up the real details.

So now I had to say something that made him  believe I knew more about his manwhoring, which would make him in return give me the information I wanted.

After bringing up a few past incidents that had left me suspicious and even calling his ex girlfriend a few ugly name (she had nothing to do with it, I just didn’t like her and wanted to call her ugly names) I still had no information from him. He just kept saying the same things I had heard over the five years we dated. “I never cheated on you.” “I was always faithful.” blah blah blah

Now I began to wonder why he would reveal that he was a manwhore if now he wanted to play saint. I decided that if I kept prying I might find something that I really didn’t need or want to know. Especially since we were no longer together. But before I let it go I had to make sure he knew how disgusted I felt that I had dated a manwhore for over five years and had been clueless to the fact that he even had the slightest of manwhore tendencies. I had to make sure he knew how nasty I thought he was and how I am thankful I never caught anything while messing around with his nasty manwhore tale!

About an hour after the argument and after I told him how utterly disgusted I was by his manwhore revelation. He came in and said that he felt like I was blowing the entire thing out of proportion. He said that true enough he had a lot of female friends back in the day, but for the mot part he was very selective on who he slept with.

I gave him an awkward stare and informed him that manwhores are not selective in who they bone (yes I said bone) that is why they are called manwhores DUMMY!

He stood there looking confused. Which I expected, because that is typical of a manwhore. Dazed, confused and nasty!

…fast forward a week

A week goes by and my ex calls and says that he needs to straighten something out. He said that he had a conversation with his sister about our falling out over him being a manwhore and he said she laughed so hard that tears came to her eyes. Again, he was confused. He didn’t know why we were making such a big deal out of a man who has more female friends than women and who is kind known as a ladies’ man.

I can’t say many good things about his sister, but I can say that she quickly corrected her manwhore..or not so manwhore brother. She gave him the real, low down dirty description of a manwhore…hence his phone call to me to straighten up the situation.  Thank God for clarity!

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One thought on “Manwhore”

  1. Well, at least he TOLD you, even thought it was AFTER you broke up. But some of these people are whore’s to the highest level and they HIDE it so well. They deserve Oscars for best Actor/actress or the Award for the best Liar.

    Like

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