“I will be married before I turn 30.”
Sometimes when thoughts of marriage come to mind I get…what’s the word…depressed..yeah that would be it. With so many of my friends and family getting married I sometimes wonder why I haven’t jumped the broom yet. Hell after all, I am all that ..and some! So why is it that my prince charming hasn’t come along and swept me off my feet and allowed me to spread my pretty wings?
Well honestly I think it has something to do with that “and some” that I mentioned in the paragraph above. See I’m a different kind of woman. Yeah I know you guys will need me to explain that, so I will. When I say that I am a different kind of woman, I mean that I’m independent, but not bossy (even though I have been called that countless times) I have a very good sense of humor, but I do know when it is time to get serious. And I overall, I have a positive outlook on life. I also……
love to have things go my way, doesn’t always accept help, even when I need it, can and will cry at the drop of a hat, isn’t always forgiving, isn’t as organized as I should be, can cuss like a sailor who has been drinking Thunderbird
…well you kinda get the picture. The “and some” are just a few teensy weensy things I need to work on. Nevertheless, I am a work in progress and admittance is the first step towards progress.
I used to have it engraved in my mind that I would be married before age thirty, now I can shake my head and say “Probably not.”
This may sound quite ridiculous but sometimes I see married couples and I say to myself, “If SHE can get a husband I know for damn sure I should have been married at age 10.” There have been times when I have just wanted to ask a brotha, ummm how she get you because she is a hot mess. But of course I keep thoughts like that to myself.
I wonder if those kinds of thoughts have anything to do with Black Women Behaving Badly as mentioned in the August 2009 issue of Essence Magazine. Or maybe it’s just the women being spiteful and bitter syndrome. I think it may be, because when I heard about the split between “our” Reggie Bush and Kim Kardashian I jumped up and yelled “We got one back!”
Nevertheless, I have come to the realization that most likely I won’t be married by thirty as I had planned and honestly I may not even find a good man by age thirty.
Then there is the question, what is wrong with black men? Why are so many of them playing the field and choosing not to get married.
….I hope you weren’t waiting on me to give an answer because I am also wondering what the problem is.
So for now I will continue to daydream about love while listening to Maxwell’s Pretty Wings and visualize a time when I will have my own Maxwell, Idris Elba or Reggie Bush (he is off my “humph no he didn’t” list now) or even Trey Songz. He is a little young, but he’ll do!