Common Law Marriage


funny-wedding-cake-topper01This story sparked my interest —> Woman seeking alimony after common law marriage

Personally I feel that she should receive child support, but as far as alimony she shouldn’t receive one red cent! If you decide to be in a relationship with someone as their wife, but not actually be married, that is a conscious decision that you chose to make. The woman in this case who is seeking money from her wealthy ex common law husband stated that each time she discussed marriage her mate was evasive. (hint hint, he may not want to marry you) She went on to say:

“I wanted to marry him from the start, but all I got from him was excuses,” she said.

She says she didn’t realize that, as a woman living with a man in Quebec without a marriage certificate, she didn’t have the same rights as a woman who was formally married.

The story goes on to say that the woman is in her 30’s and met her ex when she was seventeen years old. Now just from the portion of the story that I listed above, I concluded that this man did not want to be legally married to this woman. He may have enjoyed having her as his companion and lover for all those years, but he did not want to commit to a marriage with her. If you are with someone long enough for it to be considered common law, you decide to have children with them and they are still being evasive about marrying you and give you nothing but excuses, maybe you should think about the relationship as a whole and what the outcome of it may be. What happens if you stay with him and never get married because there is a very likely chance that may happen? Those are things to consider when making the decision to live as husband and wife, but not have the legal standing of being husband and wife.

This site provides more info on common law marriage, such as which states acknowledge them, and under what terms. This might be something else for a person to consider if they choose to have a common law marriage. Whether not their state acknowledges common law marriages and if they do under what terms and for what purpose.

It must be a hurting thing to live your life with someone for years and then the relationship ends and you are left high and dry. Sort of like a regular relationship huh?

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BGT Sentiments: Maybe I am just thinking with an old fashioned mindset, but why would I want to live with someone a decade or more without legally becoming their wife? If we are going to play house let’s play the full version of it, marriage license in tow. Living together and being happy is one thing, but putting yourself in a situation where you may end up being no more than a decade worth of common law is another. Whatever happened to the vow of marriage being something sacred and worth abiding by because you loved that person with all of your being? I know that times have changed and of course people can live their lives however they like, but why settle for half when you can have whole?

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13 thoughts on “Common Law Marriage”

  1. I actually know several couples that are in that common law situation. Although my mom wouldn’t call it marriage, she likes to refer to it as shacking up.

    I know that in today’s society that a common law marriage is a very attractive idea. It’s all the perks minus all the paperwork and divorce lawyers, but its not marriage, not even a really long engagement. It’s just….I dunno. Maybe I’m old fashioned too.

    Maybe not, lol.

    KD

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  2. I’ve come to realize that some folks just don’t wanna be married…at all. That’s cool…but find somebody ELSE who don’t wanna be married. Find somebody else on the same page as you and it’ll be cool! That’s my thing.

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  3. Wizzy I agree. This woman stayed with this man all those years admitting that he was evasive and never said he wanted to marry her. He always made excuses when it came to marrying her. That goes with what you are saying. She wanted to be married but obviously this man didn’t want to be married. So when you stick with a person who doesnt want the same thing that you want you cant really complain if it ends and you end up with the short end of the stick.

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  4. It’s best to know who you are dealing with and how they see you. It is also important to know what their intentions are with you and the relationship. It goes back to that old saying: Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?

    Ten years is a long time to be with someone who doesn’t want to marry you. If that is what you’re goal is and they don’t want the same things then why would you stay and have a kid? Hell no, she shouldn’t get any alimony. You’re right, child support is in order. She needs to move on and cut her loses. It’s her own fault.

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  5. I am married, yet I presume that marriage in the traditional sense is on its way out. I would rather this not be the case, but lets face it, at least half of marriages fail, infidelity is rampant and accepted, few children grow up with both parents in the household, and I do not see any change on the horizon.

    At one point, I believed there were turn-arounds on the horizon. As a Christian, I had hoped and believed that Christianity would influence marriage in a positive direction. But Christian stats are no better for limiting divorce. Infidelity in churches is rampant.

    So… if a woman wants alimony in a common law circumstance, why would this be surprising given the the insanity and disintigration of traditional marriage? It is all part of the same quagmire. Thats how I see it.

    Ciao.

    Chaz

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  6. This is plain old fashioned stupid.

    I’m amazed at the number of people that are living together under “common law.” I know people that have been living together, have bought homes together and have multiple children together, but when you talk about marriage to them, they say, “We’re not ready for that kind of commitment.”

    I just think they’re crazy.

    If you want to stick around and play at marriage and pretend you have rights, then play at being divorced and pretend money goes to your bank account every month.

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  7. Great comment Garland!

    I too know people who have been together many years (over 10) and when you ask why they aren’t married they say they aren’t ready for that kind of commitment. You mean you have children with someone, buy a home with them, share expenses and you don’t think that is commitment.

    I think for many people they think that getting married will change things. But if you are living as married couple, why not be married?

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  8. Garland….

    Is it not typical of human nature to seek what we want in every situation? If so, it does not surprise me that society has drifted to choices and lifestyles where we seek what we want on our terms (relationship without marriage commitment including kids, homes, etc), and then when it falls apart, we seek further what we want such as spousal support.

    It is just plain old fashioned self-centredness that has existed for centuries. We are simply now in a culture that endorses this behavior. Tolerates it at least. And it appears many of our laws support this kind of behaviour too.

    My first wife was able to walk away from a 12 year marriage with no resistance from our society whatsoever. Caught in the fallout of her selfishness were our three kids. Yet our laws ENTITLED her to spousal support and a generous division of our assets.

    Yes, this is just plain STUPID as you put it. But this is where we have arrived as a culture. So this person’s feeling of entitlement for spousal support from a common law relationship does not surprise me at all.

    These manifestations of selfishness are costing our society billions. And our children are the ones who mainly pay the price. Yet it continues.

    So for me, I will do my best to be the best person I can be in my marriage and with my kids and do my best to influence who I can.

    Ciao.

    Chaz

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