I was watching The Bad Girl’s Club last night (it was hawt might I add) and one of the girl’s this season said that she does not date outside of her race. She said she would not date a black man or any man that wasn’t white.
That got me to thinking..why have I never dated a white guy, or an Asian guy or a Mexican guy??
The simple answer is that I love black men, and have not found that there is a shortage of them for me to start perusing other races.
The more complicated answer is that even though I am an adult and have my own life and way of thinking, I was raised in a family that is not very accepting of interracial dating. Many African Americans (myself included) grew up with phrases like this being used
“If he/she can’t use your comb then don’t bring em home”
Now if I were to play pretend for a moment, I can vividly picture what would happen if I were to bring someone home other than a black man…
I tell my folks that I am bringing someone special home. Our relationship is serious (they know I wouldn’t bring any ole body home) and I would like for him to meet my family. I would also have to tell them he isn’t black…for his sake that would be a mandatory element of the pre-meeting conversation.
If he were a white man, my mom would be cordial but she would have a look of “Lawd my daughter done started jiggin” on her face. My brother wouldn’t care because he doesn’t care if I dated a booga bear as long as we didn’t need any help from him. My cousins/aunts etc. wouldn’t spare a word. They would make comments such as these in front of the gentleman “Lawd this chile don’t brought home a white man, now ain’t this about a blip”, “Aww hell she don’t went white, another one bites the dust.”
If he were Mexican my mom would want to know where I found him ||blank stare|| She would of course be civil and she wouldn’t say anything mean, but once he was gone she would ask me if he was legal and if he wanted to marry me to become a legal citizen. My brother, once again wouldn’t care and as expected my other family members would make comments that were inappropriate. Things like “A Mexican, aww hell naw…A Mexican??” ||GASP||
If he were Asian my mom would still be nice to him, but she would pretty much conclude that I met him at one of the neighborhood corner stores, because surely his family owns one of them. My brother would first laugh, then he would laugh again, then he would go back to chill mode and not give a damn. As for my other family members they would have a riot off of this one. They would swear that they knew him from the corner store and that Mr. and Mrs. Wong were his parents. Even if he denied it, they would be still believe that his family owned a store in the neighborhood.
Now even with my family not being comfortable with interracial dating and not being the best guest when in the company of interracial couples, my main reason for never dating outside my race is my personal preference of black men. I have never found any reason to date any man but a black one. Don’t get me wrong, I have been approached by white men and even a Spanish guy, but I have never been interested in the offers. Black men come in so many wonderful packages that even when tired with one specific design you can change it up a little and still have a helluva good black man.
I cannot say that I would never date a man that wasn’t black, but I will say that I love black men and for now I have no shortage of Black Man Packages to choose from.
-side note: I have more to post on the topic of Interracial dating including preference or ignorance and racism and hatarism of Interracial Dating (I may edit this blog post 2morrow)
- Color Blind Love (psychologytoday.com)