Boom I Got Your Boyfriend, I Got Your Man

***picks up microphone***

Dear self-proclaimed man stealer, I know that you cannot see my face right now but please believe that I am giving you the serious side-eye . There are many things that people should be proud to be self-proclaimed such as leaders, life coaches, motivational speakers and other things of the positive sort, but a self-proclaimed man stealer is nothing to be proud of.  NOTE TO YOU- you cannot steal a man! Anytime you steal a human that is called kidnapping and I seriously doubt that you consider your deeds kidnapping. Also I would like to point out that just because you think it is cute to share a man, that does not mean that in reality it is. Honestly it makes you look quite much like a loser.

***puts down microphone***