Chris Brown & Rihanna (my two cents)

We have all seen and heard the mountain of news stories, radio talk shows, blog posts etc concerning the incident between Rihanna and Chris Brown. Media outlets such as TMZ  and Access Hollywood have had day to day coverage on the story. For a while I stopped paying attention because it was becoming too much of a media circus. The truth has become too far and beyond and the here say and exaggeration overpowered the real issues of the case.

For those of you who know me personally you know that I take domestic violence very seriously. I in no way support abusers and I take a strong stand against violence against women.

With that being said, I would like to first address  the fact that I along with everyone except Chris Brown and Rihanna were not present the night of the incident. We are only partakers of what the news media chooses to report. What has been reported ranges from allegations of Rihanna giving Chris Brown herpes, to Rihanna attacking Chris Brown in the car because Leona Lewis text him. Then there was the story that it wasn’t Leona Lewis, but another woman that text Chris Brown that sent Rihanna into a frenzy that led her to hit Chris Brown with her shoe. The stories have been never-ending and recently it was reported that Rihanna has decided to tell the police the true story about the night’s events. This story includes a woman texting Chris Brown, Rihanna becoming enraged and attacking him as he drove. Chris tried to get control of her while remaining in control of the car and the fight ensued. This led to both parties throwing blows in the moving vehicle and outside of the vehicle.  

The many comments I have heard and seen concerning Rihanna’s decision to remain in a relationship with someone who allegedly  beat her have been for the most part negative and ignorant. When a woman stays with an abusive partner there are underlying issues and that issue is not just the fact that she loves him. If you allow someone to physically abuse you it is guaranteed that you have some emotional issues going on as well. Physical abuse and emotional abuse go hand in hand. Even if the abuser isn’t saying things that have you emotionally distressed the victim’s own self esteem issues feelings of worthlessness are .  Many people wonder why and how a woman can continue to love and stay with a man that abuses her, but if you are an emotional wreck and don’t really know where to turn or how to get out of the situation, you will remain in the situation. Many times women are embarrassed to seek help. So many times women hear all of the negative remarks about women remaining in these situations being stupid and deserving what they get, they are afraid to speak up and seek help for themselves.

The news has also reported that Brown is now seeking a plea deal in which he would not have to serve any jail time. This could only happen if the federal charges he is facing are dropped to misdemeanors. How could the courts allow that to happen, well if the recent reports are true and Rihanna is going to admit to initiating the fight by slapping Chris Brown first, then proceeding to hit him in the face with her shoe the felony charges have a great chance of being reduced to misdemeanors because of Rihanna’s actions. For many people the news of the plea deal is shocking, but as I stat4ed before, we don’t know the whole or true story, so in the end we have two adults who have decided that regardless of what happened that night they want to be together….that is their choice.

Diddy who is friend to both Rihanna and Brown recently caught flack for allowing the pair to reconcile at his Miami home. While on the  Ellen DeGeneres Show Diddy talked about his decision to allow the couple to spend time together at his home.

Here is the video of Diddy explaining his reasoning behind his decision

In my opinion the media’s attack of Diddy over this is ridiculous. Rihanna and Chris Brown are adults. If they come to a friend and ask a favor, why wouldn’t he grant that favor. How many of us in our everyday lives have known that our friends relationships had major problems and we allowed them time to talk it out. Not because we approved of any negative behavior, but because we were their friend.

Then there is the entire show that Oprah dedicated to the topic of Dating Violence & Battered Women. Oprah is beginning to pluck my last nerve. I know that many of you are strong supporters of Oprah Winfrey but I am not for many reasons. I won’t go into detail here because that would be an entire blog entry in itself, but I will say that sometimes we need to realize that everything isn’t our business. Everything isn’t an opportunity for us to speak up and speak out on, especially if we are going to make accusations and pass judgments when we don’t know the facts.

Along with Oprah was Tyra Banks, who recounted on the show her own personal battle with and abusive boyfriend. Banks stated that the boyfriend was not physically abusive, but was very jealous, controlling and emotionally abusive.

Banks and Winfrey’s message was that Love Doesn’t Hurt and that if a man hits you once he will hit you again. Winfrey went on to say that regardless of if Rihanna hit Brown first, he had no right to hit her.

I know I may get ridiculed for this, but I don’t agree with that statement. I in no way approve of men battering women, but human nature does not always allow the first reaction of walking away. It is 100% wrong for a man to hit a woman, just as it is 100% wrong for a woman to hit a man. We should all live by the golden rule we learned way back in kindergarten which is “everyone keep their hands to their self’. This action will keep everyone out of trouble. Now in the event that a woman does hit a man he should walk away. But how many times can you walk away from someone hitting you? How many times have the people who are passing judgment just sucked it up and walked away when someone/anyone hit them? So just as Chris Brown is being verbally pounded and chastised for laying hands on Rihanna if she started the attack, she also needs to be counseled and talked to profusely about keeping her hands to herself.

I know that many people who are watching the news coverage of the Chris and Rihanna ordeal was swayed to believe everything the news reports. It is hard not to look at Chris Brown as a monster who deserves to be thrown underneath the jail. But I can personally speak on behalf of abused women and I can also speak on behalf of one of the many people who witness on a regular basis women who cannot control their anger when it comes to their man. Just as I have a personal account of being a battered woman I also know many women who will throw blows and start fights with men and live this dramified life every day.

To end this I would like to say that Domestic Violence is wrong…end of story.

But for those of us who were not there we can’t say how it happened, who started it and what the outcome should be. For our own lives are oftentimes not as much of a clean slate as we would like them to be. If we can throw stones at Chris Brown for hitting a woman and we can ridicule Rihanna for reconciling with him, we should also throw stones at our self for the bad relationship we remained in for way too long. We should ridicule our self for slapping our ex boyfriend because we found out he was cheating. We should reminisce on each time we started drama and lived to tell about it because each one of those incidents could have been one where someone took our drama serious and ended our life.

John 8:7

He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.

Black Mondays

Black Mondays

The sweltering summer of the Negro’s legitimate discontent will not pass until there is an invigorating autumn of freedom and equality. 

-Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

                                                      

A year after the death of the beloved Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. in the same city where he held protest for equality, injustice was still brewing. But the people of Memphis held steadfast to the dream of Dr. King and decided that they would not be moved. They would stand up for equality and the dream would live on.

In 1969 in the city of Memphis, TN over half the students in the school system were black, so why was the school board all white?

Even after the NAACP got involved the school board that represented a majority of black students remained all white.  The black community’s dismay with the lack of black representation on the school board led to what came to be known as Black Mondays. The participating students and teachers knew that the boycotts were risky and some were torn about a potential outcome,  but they were adamant on seeing a change.  The school boycott campaign began in the fall of 1969 and continued for approximately 5 Mondays.  The first Black Monday took place October 13, 1969 and over sixty thousand black students participated in the boycott by being absent from school that day. Each Monday that followed black students and teachers boycotted by not showing up to teach or attend school.  The current mayor of Memphis, Dr. Willie Herenton, who was then a principal, was the only principal to ally with the Black Mondays protest and walk out of school.

Black Mondays led to other boycotts including those of black employees of St. Francis Hospital, black city workers staying home from work and a boycott of downtown businesses.  The Black Monday Boycotts drew much attention and finally in November of 1969 the boycotts were called to an end by a coalition of black organizations when the Board of Education filed a lawsuit against some parties involved citing contributing to the delinquency of a minor. The lawsuit was dropped, but the point of Black Mondays had been made. The school system receives state and federal funding based on student attendance and with over half the students in the system participating in Black Monday each Monday the impact was hard hitting.

Black Mondays resulted in the addition of two black non-voting members to the Memphis School board and indeed paved the way for future black school board members.  Currently the Memphis City School Board of Commissioners is majority African American. (Memphis City Schools Board of Commissioners)

Link from The Commercial Appeal Black Mondays Signaled a New Day  written by Wendi C. Thomas

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February 28, 2009 at 2pm The Benjamin Hooks Central Library  in Memphis, TN will be hosting a discussion panel to celebrate the 40th Anniversary of Black Monday. The panel will include Maxine Smith, Dr. Vasco Smith and Dr. Miriam DeCosta-Willis, all civil rights activists who will share their memories of the historical boycotts.

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The NY Post defends running racist cartoon by Sean Delonas

 

Civil rights leaders and a multitude of others have come forth speaking out against the cartoon by artist Sean Delonas which was run in the New York Post on February 18, 2009. The cartoon has been called offensive, racist and insensitive.

Mr. Delonas however has stated that these accusations are ridiculous and that the cartoon is about the economic stimulus bill and in no way is indicating that President Barack Obama should be shot. The editor-in-chief of the New York Post, Col Allan had this to say,”The cartoon is a clear parody of a current news event.”

However that explanation is not acceptable to those (myself included) who have taken offense to the cartoon which shows two white police officers standing over a dead chimpanzee that that have just shot and killed. The caption states “They will have to find someone else to write the next stimulus bill.’

How the New York Post or the cartoon artist can rebut the fact that the cartoon is offensive and has racist undertones is beyond belief.  Even with The New York Post adding that the cartoon also plays wit to the woman attacked by a chimpanzee in Connecticut it still does not satisfy those who are not willing to accept any excuses for the cartoon’s insensitivity or the New York Post bad judgment call. First let’s examine the facts:

• President Barack Obama wrote the stimulus bill mentioned in the cartoon caption.
• President Barack Obama is of African descent.
• Throughout history and to present time, monkeys, chimpanzees and other primates of the ape family have been used to downgrade and dehumanize the African American race.
• The cartoon shows a dead chimp, killed by two white officers who are stating that someone else will have to write the next stimulus bill.

There is no way to deny that the cartoon is blatantly racist. I won’t even downplay it by saying it has racial undertones, no it is blatantly racist and in my opinion the New York Post needs to make a public apology to everyone who may have been offended by the cartoon’s offensive artistry and caption. It showed bad judgment on part of The New York Post when the cartoon was okayed to be placed as part of the newspaper’s printing.

Reverend Al Sharpton, Marc Morial (National Urban League President), Barbara Ciara (President of the National Association of Black Journalists) and others are speaking out and demanding that the New York Post clarify what point the cartoon actually makes since the post has denied that it has any racial inferences.

Another note: This is not the first time artist Sean Delonas has had his work called offensive or insensitive. He is the same artist who has been ridiculed for his cartoons on gay marriage licenses and the ex-wife of Paul McCartney who has one leg. Click here to read more about Delonas and his controversial cartoons.

Click here to view CNN Panelists discussing the cartoon.

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If you would like to join the Call 2 Action against the cartoon run by the New York Post here is more information on how you can call, send a letter or email to the New York Post. Also Rev. Al Sharpton will be leading a demonstration today, Feb 19, 2009 at noon if you are in the New York area. Please remember that in all things there must be order. If you choose to email or call The New York Post please be respectful.

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