The death of 5yr old Shaniya Davis is one of those necessary evil cases - necessary to shine some light on a taboo that we often overlook: Child Prostitution, and sex trafficking of minors. Related posts:A Global Day of Blogging for Troy Davis If you haven't heard the Troy Davis story, don't feel...If a child falls in the hood and no one cares to h […]
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We deserve the same respect as heterosexuals, as gays and lesbians, we deserve to be seen instead of dismissed. Related posts:Why I Don’t Respect Tyler Perry’s Hustle The fact that we have gone from The Cosby Show...You’re Gay, Get Over It How can you attract authentic when you’re silicone?...Respect Is a Two-Way Street "When you find that g […]
One of the two Northwest Airlines pilots who overshot the Minneapolis, Minnesota, airport last month told air traffic control that they had dropped from radio contact because of "cockpit distraction."
Two Secret Service agents visited a Virginia winery Friday intending to question a couple whose appearance at a White House state dinner raised eyebrows this week, the winery manager told CNN.
Shoppers in DeSoto County are packing the stores looking for the best bargains. The Southaven Chamber of Commerce wants to make sure you stay there to shop.
I will definitely be in attendance. I love going out to the festival each year and viewing and purchasing the beautiful paintings, handmade jewelry, clothing, handbags and a host of other rarities. The smell of the delicate incense fills the air along with the great food being prepared by the country’s natives. The music is vibrant and flowing through the festival by way of the breezes from the Mississippi River. This is an event for the entire family. It is an opportunity for those young and old to get a glimpse of Africa and its major significance to African Americans.
“If we are to achieve a richer culture, rich in contrasting values, we must recognize the whole gamut of human potentialities, and so weave a less arbitrary social fabric, one in which each diverse human gift will find a fitting place.” -Margaret Mead
I also found this blog on Blogger that has good info on The Republic of Mauritania and some beautiful photos of the country –> Saharan Vibe – Mauritania
We have all seen and heard the mountain of news stories, radio talk shows, blog posts etc concerning the incident between Rihanna and Chris Brown. Media outlets such as TMZ and Access Hollywood have had day to day coverage on the story. For a while I stopped paying attention because it was becoming too much of a media circus. The truth has become too far and beyond and the here say and exaggeration overpowered the real issues of the case.
For those of you who know me personally you know that I take domestic violence very seriously. I in no way support abusers and I take a strong stand against violence against women.
With that being said, I would like to first address the fact that I along with everyone except Chris Brown and Rihanna were not present the night of the incident. We are only partakers of what the news media chooses to report. What has been reported ranges from allegations of Rihanna giving Chris Brown herpes, to Rihanna attacking Chris Brown in the car because Leona Lewis text him. Then there was the story that it wasn’t Leona Lewis, but another woman that text Chris Brown that sent Rihanna into a frenzy that led her to hit Chris Brown with her shoe. The stories have been never-ending and recently it was reported that Rihanna has decided to tell the police the true story about the night’s events. This story includes a woman texting Chris Brown, Rihanna becoming enraged and attacking him as he drove. Chris tried to get control of her while remaining in control of the car and the fight ensued. This led to both parties throwing blows in the moving vehicle and outside of the vehicle.
The many comments I have heard and seen concerning Rihanna’s decision to remain in a relationship with someone who allegedly beat her have been for the most part negative and ignorant. When a woman stays with an abusive partner there are underlying issues and that issue is not just the fact that she loves him. If you allow someone to physically abuse you it is guaranteed that you have some emotional issues going on as well. Physical abuse and emotional abuse go hand in hand. Even if the abuser isn’t saying things that have you emotionally distressed the victim’s own self esteem issues feelings of worthlessness are . Many people wonder why and how a woman can continue to love and stay with a man that abuses her, but if you are an emotional wreck and don’t really know where to turn or how to get out of the situation, you will remain in the situation. Many times women are embarrassed to seek help. So many times women hear all of the negative remarks about women remaining in these situations being stupid and deserving what they get, they are afraid to speak up and seek help for themselves.
The news has also reported that Brown is now seeking aplea deal in which he would not have to serve any jail time. This could only happen if the federal charges he is facing are dropped to misdemeanors. How could the courts allow that to happen, well if the recent reports are true and Rihanna is going to admit to initiating the fight by slapping Chris Brown first, then proceeding to hit him in the face with her shoe the felony charges have a great chance of being reduced to misdemeanors because of Rihanna’s actions. For many people the news of the plea deal is shocking, but as I stat4ed before, we don’t know the whole or true story, so in the end we have two adults who have decided that regardless of what happened that night they want to be together….that is their choice.
Diddy who is friend to both Rihanna and Brown recently caught flack for allowing the pair to reconcile at his Miami home. While on the Ellen DeGeneres Show Diddy talked about his decision to allow the couple to spend time together at his home.
Here is the video of Diddy explaining his reasoning behind his decision
In my opinion the media’s attack of Diddy over this is ridiculous. Rihanna and Chris Brown are adults. If they come to a friend and ask a favor, why wouldn’t he grant that favor. How many of us in our everyday lives have known that our friends relationships had major problems and we allowed them time to talk it out. Not because we approved of any negative behavior, but because we were their friend.
Then there is the entire show that Oprah dedicated to the topic ofDating Violence & Battered Women. Oprah is beginning to pluck my last nerve. I know that many of you are strong supporters of Oprah Winfrey but I am not for many reasons. I won’t go into detail here because that would be an entire blog entry in itself, but I will say that sometimes we need to realize that everything isn’t our business. Everything isn’t an opportunity for us to speak up and speak out on, especially if we are going to make accusations and pass judgments when we don’t know the facts.
Along with Oprah was Tyra Banks, who recounted on the show her own personal battle with and abusive boyfriend. Banks stated that the boyfriend was not physically abusive, but was very jealous, controlling and emotionally abusive.
Banks and Winfrey’s message was that Love Doesn’t Hurt and that if a man hits you once he will hit you again. Winfrey went on to say that regardless of if Rihanna hit Brown first, he had no right to hit her.
I know I may get ridiculed for this, but I don’t agree with that statement. I in no way approve of men battering women, but human nature does not always allow the first reaction of walking away. It is 100% wrong for a man to hit a woman, just as it is 100% wrong for a woman to hit a man. We should all live by the golden rule we learned way back in kindergarten which is “everyone keep their hands to their self’. This action will keep everyone out of trouble. Now in the event that a woman does hit a man he should walk away. But how many times can you walk away from someone hitting you? How many times have the people who are passing judgment just sucked it up and walked away when someone/anyone hit them? So just as Chris Brown is being verbally pounded and chastised for laying hands on Rihanna if she started the attack, she also needs to be counseled and talked to profusely about keeping her hands to herself.
I know that many people who are watching the news coverage of the Chris and Rihanna ordeal was swayed to believe everything the news reports. It is hard not to look at Chris Brown as a monster who deserves to be thrown underneath the jail. But I can personally speak on behalf of abused women and I can also speak on behalf of one of the many people who witness on a regular basis women who cannot control their anger when it comes to their man. Just as I have a personal account of being a battered woman I also know many women who will throw blows and start fights with men and live this dramified life every day.
To end this I would like to say that Domestic Violence is wrong…end of story.
But for those of us who were not there we can’t say how it happened, who started it and what the outcome should be. For our own lives are oftentimes not as much of a clean slate as we would like them to be. If we can throw stones at Chris Brown for hitting a woman and we can ridicule Rihanna for reconciling with him, we should also throw stones at our self for the bad relationship we remained in for way too long. We should ridicule our self for slapping our ex boyfriend because we found out he was cheating. We should reminisce on each time we started drama and lived to tell about it because each one of those incidents could have been one where someone took our drama serious and ended our life.
John 8:7
He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.
Currently I know at least two people who are alcoholics but either don’t know it or don’t want to admit it. You may wonder how a person can be an alcoholic and not be aware of it, but it is very possible. And for the most part the unawareness is denial. Take for instance an associate of mine, he drinks every day, and I’m not talking about a beer or two after a long day of work. No I’m talking aboutbrown likka on a daily basis. Weekends are all day brown likka fests and events such as Super Bowl and New Years are multi day fests where the brown likka along with a variety of other alcoholic beverages don’t cease until the next work day.
BUT if you ask this person if they are an alcoholic they will promptly say no and will take offense to even being asked such a question.
So that in turn makes you wonder, well if he isn’t an alcoholic then I must not know what an alcoholic is.
TheMayo Clinicdefines alcoholism as: A chronic disease that makes your body dependent on alcohol. You may be obsessed with alcohol and unable to control how much you drink, even though your drinking is causing serious problems with your relationships, health, work and finances.
Now for many people that I know and consider alcoholics the part of the definition that states “You may be obsessed with alcohol and unable to control how much you drink” is their ultimate scapegoat. This is the loop hole they use to proclaim that they are not an alcoholic and are in no way dependent upon it. The reason being is that they always say that they are able to control how much they drink. Sure they may be able to control their drinking in ways such as not drinking at work (even though I know a few that do take a toke every now and then on the clock) and sure they may be able to curb how much they drink when going to places where being staggering drunk is unacceptable, but can they stop drinking completely if they chose to do so?
On the Alcoholics Anonymoussite they have a list ofquestionsfor people who want to know if they may have a problem with alcohol or are contemplating whether or not they need help to stop.
A few of the questions asked confirmed my suspicions of the people I know that are in denial. Some of the questions asked on the AA site are picture perfect descriptions of the people I know who claim NOT to be alcoholics
Have you ever decided to stop drinking for a week or so, but only lasted for a couple of days
Have you missed days of work or school because of drinking?
Have you had to have an eye-opener upon awakening during the past year?
Have you had problems connected with drinking during the past year?
One of the people I know can’t get to work on Mondays to save his life. He Misses every Monday from work because he drinks himself into oblivion Sunday night and the rest of the weekend. He also has no license due to his drinking, which he swears is under control and is not a problem….
The other drinks and drives and of course that is not only dangerous, but stupid. He always claims to be coherent enough to drive, but being that I know how much he drinks I cannot see how he makes it to his destination and back. He also has no problem drinking with whoever has the supply. If he is visiting friends, family, associates, coworkers, perfect strangers etc. If they offer liquor he is definitely going to drink.
One of them even proclaims that he is not an alcoholic because he only drinks beer. BUT this same person stated once that with the amount of beer they have purchased over the past couple of years they could have bought a home.
Alcoholism is a type of drug addiction.
This is a major part of why many alcoholics refuse to accept what they really are. They don’t want to admit to their self that they have a drug addiction.
Alcoholism is divided into 2 categories: dependence and abuse
Accepting that you are addicted to a form of drug, means that you accept the fact that you are dependent upon it and are indeed abusing alcohol. That must be tough pill to swallow. But until a person faces that reality they will continue to live in denial and continue to abuse alcohol. The first step in healing is admitting that there is a problem.
To join the fight against impaired drivers on the road clickhere.
***I in no way touched on the complete topic of Alcoholism in this post. If you would like some in depth information regarding the disease check out the NIAAA site that I provided the link to above. It gives pertinent information on not only the disease itself, but statistics including; deaths from cirrhosis of the liver, alcohol risk behaviors among youth and per capita alcohol consumption, based on alcohol sales data along with a host of other critical information about alcohol abuse and alcoholism.
