Dear Black Man

   Dear Black Man….

Recently as I walked around a local, historically black college I felt good…I mean truly good. After I left I realized that the reason I had been feeling so good was because I had seen so many black men on campus who were educated, charismatic, good-humored and even though I didn’t know them I was proud of them.

I was proud of them not just because they were attending college, but I was proud of them for choosing something other than the streets and  for possessing something other than a negative attitude that reflects what many people would like to believe about them.

I sat down today to continue my segment on black men and stereotypes however as I began to jot down my thoughts about how black men are profiled, stereotyped and given the title of “bad” my thoughts swayed to something black men need which is inspiration.

In a day and time when the daily news broadcast stories of black men being handcuffed, hunted down and jailed day in and day out it is good to know that not all black men are buying in to the widespread belief that black men have nothing,w ant nothing and have a future that dead ends at nothing. Black men need to realize that this world is not for them….the odds are not in their favor and the law is not their friend.

As I thought about the black men in my family and reflected back on the many stories I have heard from them of how difficult it often is just being a black man. I thought about their many stories of being pulled over by the police and harassed for no reason at all, how they have been discriminated against because their shade of black is just a little too black and how many times they just didn’t understand why being a black man seemed to come with extra baggage, a storm cloud looming overhead and a stumbling block around every corner.

I realize how hard it is being black being that I have faced my own share of discriminatory acts and outright racist actions from persons of other races, but it never even dawned on me how much harder it must be being a black man. Wow…. I never even imagined how hard it must be for the strongest to be depicted as the weakest or how incredibly disappointing it must be to see yourself labeled as the bad guy over and over again and sadly there seems to be nothing you can do about it.

Trying Something New – Veering From Your Preference Checklist

The majority of us have preferences when it comes to the opposite sex. When we meet a perspective mate, we mentally go over our preference checklist and we immediately know from a physical standpoint if the person meets the criteria or if they fall short of what we prefer. Sometimes the journey to finding that special someone is enjoyable and swift, and other times it is painful and at times hilarious…well hilarious after you stop seeing them!  

Some people will say that looks aren’t everything and that the beauty we should care about comes from within, but I be damned if looks don’t play a huge part in first impressions and even in deciding if the person is worth dating.

However sometimes we get to the end of our rope and the dating scene has us exhausted by its lack of what we consider qualified mates. It gets to the point where we decide to go out of your comfort zone and “try something new.

From a personal standpoint I say that the majority of the time “trying something new” doesn’t give you the end result of happiness that you pursue and generally lands you in Disappointmentville.

One physical characteristic of a man that can immediately make me shoot him down is his height. I have never been attracted to men that are shorter than I am so I have always steered clear of short men, or shorties as I call them. When I say short, I mean shorter than I am.  I am 5’5, maybe 5’5 and a ½ on a good day, so any man shorter than 5’6ish can keep it moving because I have a son almost that height. I just cannot imagine myself dating a man that requires me to wear flats at all times, just to not exceed his height. This is one of my personal preferences, and for the most part I have kept it high on the priority list along with the requirements of having all of their teeth and all limbs.

But then there was the time I decided to “try something new”