Category Archives: About Men
I’ve changed my mind…
A while back I may, or may not have discussed with my readers my thoughts on mandatory paternity/DNA testing for newborn babies and their alleged fathers. As I recall I had a firm stance on why it was intrusive and violated the rights of both the mother and the child. (I was pretty sure I blogged about this but maybe not…) But after giving it much thought and having a discussion with a family member about it, I have changed my mind, mandatory DNA testing is a good thing, it should be instituted in all states and this should happen ASAP.
…why such a huge turnaround in my stance on this issue?
Well one major factor was the extremely large amount of fathers who months or even years after the birth of a child find out that they are not actually the father of the child and that this was no mistake, oh no they were bamboozled. I know some of you may disagree with me on what I am about to say but any woman, and I do mean any woman who gets pregnant knows if there is a possibility that there may be more than one possible candidate as the child’s father. Say what you will, believe what you want but she knows and it is her duty to be truthful to the men that she could possibly be pregnant by. She is obligated…however too many times women don’t feel obligated to notify potential fathers that there may be other potential fathers and they allow themselves the authority and the choosing power of only notifying their “choice father” of the pregnancy. This is where a huge problem arises because just because he is the woman’s choice doesn’t mean he is the father. Women should do the right thing. Don’t let a man support you during pregnancy, plan for a child, sign a birth certificate and love and bond with a child that might not be his. If there is more than one potential father, a woman should do the right thing from the moment she finds out she is pregnant and that is inform any and all possible fathers of the pregnancy.
Recently as I walked around a local, historically black college I felt good…I mean truly good. After I left I realized that the reason I had been feeling so good was because I had seen so many black men on campus who were educated, charismatic, good-humored and even though I didn’t know them I was proud of them.
I was proud of them not just because they were attending college, but I was proud of them for choosing something other than the streets and for possessing something other than a negative attitude that reflects what many people would like to believe about them.
I sat down today to continue my segment on black men and stereotypes however as I began to jot down my thoughts about how black men are profiled, stereotyped and given the title of “bad” my thoughts swayed to something black men need which is inspiration.
In a day and time when the daily news broadcast stories of black men being handcuffed, hunted down and jailed day in and day out it is good to know that not all black men are buying in to the widespread belief that black men have nothing,w ant nothing and have a future that dead ends at nothing. Black men need to realize that this world is not for them….the odds are not in their favor and the law is not their friend.
As I thought about the black men in my family and reflected back on the many stories I have heard from them of how difficult it often is just being a black man. I thought about their many stories of being pulled over by the police and harassed for no reason at all, how they have been discriminated against because their shade of black is just a little too black and how many times they just didn’t understand why being a black man seemed to come with extra baggage, a storm cloud looming overhead and a stumbling block around every corner.
I realize how hard it is being black being that I have faced my own share of discriminatory acts and outright racist actions from persons of other races, but it never even dawned on me how much harder it must be being a black man. Wow…. I never even imagined how hard it must be for the strongest to be depicted as the weakest or how incredibly disappointing it must be to see yourself labeled as the bad guy over and over again and sadly there seems to be nothing you can do about it.