When You Have No Children Sometimes It’s Best to STFU
It always amazes me how some people who have zero children attempt to give parental advice. Not that people who don’t have children aren’t capable of giving good, sound advice about parenting, but sometimes…hmmm…how do I say this? Sometimes yall need to STFU
Simply STFU. I say this because many of the times when you are dishing out what you consider tips to parents on how to manage being a parent you are attempting to give advice about something you have no clue about. And yes we know that you have nieces and nephews and god children (they go on and on about how they have practically raised their god children) but YOU don’t have children. When you have children in your life that you can send home, that does not count lol.
Take for instance the many times you have heard a person with no children talk about how children should be disciplined. They will go on and on about how they would react in specific situations and they go on and on about what they wouldn’t allow, but they haven’t been in those specific situations so who is to say what they may do or allow if they are ever in the predicament.
True, you may know a little something about discipline but I double dog dare you that you don’t know what it is like to be with a two-year old in a department store who needs a nap, but claims that instead they need a snack, who not only wants to touch the delicate items in the department store but also wants to play “catch me if you can” with you while you are already tired from errands, housework and everything else under the sun.
It is very easy for a childless person to say that you should possibly give the child a few warnings and then spring into immediate disciplinary action BUT here is the kicker… you are tired yourself AND when disciplinary action #1 fails (as they often do) you may want to resort to disciplinary action #2 (an ass whoopin) but you can’t because you are in a public place and Lord knows that if you spank this child within a 500 foot radius of any person who views even the slightest tap of a child as child abuse then you may be hauled off to jail for spanking the child that you carried for nine months, were in labor for 25 hours with and have had to clean the snotty nose of for two years.
Lose Lose situation huh?
But it gets better…or does it. When this child becomes a teenager and your childless friends/family/associates begin to give you advice on what you should and should not allow your child to do, you wonder if they have any clue what it is like to raise a child whose attempts to be sneaky fail 98% of the time but even with these failed attempts they still have the courage to roll their eyes at you and do the very things that you have drilled in their heads not to do. As Mr./Mrs. Childless goes on and on about how you should not have let your child go to the mall or how they would Neeeevvvver allow their child’s room to look as disastrous as your child’s does you think to yourself are they aware that we are raising three children in a three bedroom house that we are barely making the mortgage on and that needs repairs? Yet they stand here talking about a few pairs of shoes strewn across my teenage son’s bedroom floor. Are you serious?
True, sometimes we desire the comforts of our friends and family when we are in distress about situations with our children, but sometimes the advice goes overboard and it goes from a listening ear to how you are failing as a parent.
Sometimes I wonder how these very people are going to react to the very situations they give advice about if they ever become parents. Will your child/ren be the best behaved, honor roll students that you desire them to be? Will they never talk back or roll their eyes? Will they keep their rooms clutter free? Will they go to school and act like the precious little angels that you have raised them to be? AND IF THEY DON”T what will you do? Will you be able to do all of the exact things in the exact manner of the advice that you have given to other parents. I’m here to tell you, it’s easier said than done. Being a parent is a blessing and a sacrifice. It takes the total effort of a person mentally and physically to adjust to the rollercoaster ride of being a parent. Parenting takes strength and sometimes Tylenol (Advil if that is what you prefer).
Being that I am a single woman I will tell you in an instant that I don’t give marital advice to people. I’m not married so I am not going to pretend that I know what it is like to have vowed forever to someone. Vowing forever to someone is very different from committing to be in a serious relationship with someone so being that I have not jumped the broom into ”forever” I will listen to the married folk, I will give sisterly love advice but I will not tell you what you should or should not do pertaining to your husband and your marriage. I feel the same way about childless people. A listening ear is wonderful, a shoulder to cry on is great…and so is advice… sometimes. But sometimes, when you are stepping into a zone of unfamiliar territory that you are not personally experienced in you should probably stfu.