Whatever happend to good ole courting?
Courting died out with New Edition and nem…
Ralph once said
” Everyday I walk her home from school
And she tells me how she really feels
And there’s no doubt in my mind
That this girl is one of a kind
Cause all I keep thinking about is her in my arms
And I won’t feel the same until she is mine
But my friends
keep telling me to
Cool It Now …
Ralph said something with that didn’t he? Those lyrics come from the song Cool it Now by New Edition. It is from the time period where courting existed and it was a good thing. That was back when men and women weren’t afraid to dance together at a party and a man would even give you his jacket when it was chilly outside and you got cold. That was back when the club scene was more about meeting people, having fun and dancing, dancing dancing…now the club scene is a fashion show where not many people dance and the majority of the crowd is either high off one or more drugs or selling drugs to get you high.
Being a thirty year old woman I can honestly say that I wish I had entered womanhood in the courting era. I hear tales of this wonderful time of hand holding and great love songs, but sadly I only know of it from the tales of my elders. The era I came of age in, the 90s, was one of stemming violence and great increase in teenage pregnancy and ignorance on almost every level of living. (Yall know I ain’t lyin) We had good times in the 90s, but let’s be honest, the 90s is when things began to go downhill at a fast pace. I wanna say that the last courtship I know of took place in the early 90s. I wasn’t even old enough to date then, so by the time I got to the dating age, courting was over and done with.
Courting can be defined as: The act or period of wooing a woman. (American Heritage
There are four ingredients to courtship: Action. Time Frame. Pursuance. Response of
(doesn’t that sound like a man really has to plan some ish out if he wants you as his woman…I like that)
Dating is labeled as: Informal. To make or have a social engagement
There are four ingredients to dating: Creation. Action. Social Activity. Either Gender can Pursue
Dating sounds more like what I what I am accustomed to and have witnessed since I have been of age.
But why don’t mean court women anymore? Good question, and I think I have the answer.
Men don’t court women because women don’t allow themselves to be courted. Most single women do more pursuing and throwing themselves at men these days, so how can a man approach, pursue and court you if you have pursued, thrown yourself at and sexed him before he can even begin the process.
Think about it. So many women whine about not being able to find a good man BUT as soon as they meet a man they call, text, pursue and harass him so much that the gentle act of courtship has no time to take place.
Women claim to want the gentle wooing of a man, but before a man can woo them they have sexed then harassed him. Shouldn’t the woo come before the sex?
I know that the times have changed, but I just wish we could bring back the good ole days of courting. Sadly, courting has been replaced by open relationships and anything goes. Hell these folks singing about wetting beds and novacane. I just can’t get into it. Give me some Latest and Greatest and some Same Ole Love and keep all the nasty, raunchy stuff!
Posted on September 14, 2011, in About Men, About Women, Dating and Relationships and tagged advice, Anita Baker Same Ole Love, Chris Brown Wet the Bed, Courting, Courtship, Dating, Frank Ocean Novacane, Love Songs, Men, New Edition, Ralph Tresvant, Relationships, sex, Single Women, Teddy Pendergrass My Latest Greatest Inspiration, teen pregnancy, the 80s, the 90s, Women. Bookmark the permalink. 3 Comments.